Let's Play Pretend
by Mityay
Summary: You left without a word. Only a letter. You were here yesterday. What happened? Where the hell are you now? Most of all… Do you hate me? Or do you love me? Mello left Wammy’s, and Matt has to go find him. MattxMello contains yaoi/shonen-ai.
1. Prolouge

**Summary: **_You left without a word. Only a letter. You were here yesterday. What happened? Where the fuck are you now? Most of all… Do you hate me? Mello left Wammy's, and Matt has to go find him._

**DISCLAIMER: **Death Note belongs to Tsugumi Ohba and Takeshi Obata. Song used belongs to Tool.

**Lets Play Pretend- Prolouge**

'_Here from the king's mountain view  
Here from the wild dream come true  
Feast like a sultan I do on treasures and flesh - never few'_

You left without a word. Where the fuck are you? I woke up this morning and you weren't there. Should I just play pretend? Forget you were ever here? That's fucking bull. What kind of fucking friend are you? All you left me was a letter. A fucking letter. Is that all I meant to you? Am I only worth a letter? Why didn't you take me with you? You abandoned me with a bunch of pestering orphans who think everything will be alright, that its just a dream, when I open my eyes you'll be sitting here right next to be bugging me to go buy you chocolate? No. It's not a dream.

'_But I, I would wish it all away if I thought I'd lose you, just one day'_

_Dear Matt,_

_By the time you read this letter, I shall have already departed. Why am I leaving? The reason; L is dead. I can't take you with me. Its just too dangerous, I can't take the risk of getting you hurt, Matt. But I promise you, we will meet again someday. I don't know when, but I feel it. Please don't hate me, you were the only true friend I ever had at Wammy's. Everyone else there were fakers, they just didn't want to get on my bad side. But you Matt. Oh no _you _were different. You were my loyal dog. My mutt. No matter how much trouble I got you in, you always came back. You're a unique flower. I respect you for that._

_I'm sorry,_

_Mello_

'_But you changed that all for me; lifted me up, turned me 'round  
So I...  
I...  
I...  
I...  
I would  
I would  
I would wish this all away'_

I grabbed a bag and shoved anything I could grasp and put it into it. My Nintendo DS, some clothes, et cetra, but best of all, the picture of you and I. Why did you leave Mello, why did you abandon me?

'_Prayed like a martyr dusk 'til dawn  
Begged like a hooker all night long  
Tempted the devil with my song_

_And I got what I wanted all along'_

**FLASHBACK- EARLY THAT MORNING**

'_But I...  
And I would  
If I could, then I would wish it away, wish it away, wish it all away  
Wanna wish it all away  
No pressure could hold, sway, or justify my kneeling away my center'_

Dark gray storm clouds hung dully over the early morning sky in Winchester, England. Specifically over Wammy's House, an orphanage for intelligentlly gifted children, founded by Quillish Wammy, a famous inventor. There was a young man, about the age of fifteen with short, shoulder length golden hair and peircing ocean blue eyes. His name was Mihael Keehl, otherwise known as 'Mello' ranking number two in this battle field of an orphanage. Each child held a war against themselves.

'_So if I could I'd wish it all away, if I thought tomorrow would take you away  
You're my peace of mind, my home, my center  
I'm just trying to hold on one more day'_

I glanced back over my shoulder one last time as I choked back tears. _I'm sorry Matt, but I had to leave. I hope you forgive me._

'_Jab my eyes...  
Jab my eyes...'_

I stood there for a moment, thinking about all the memories Matt and I had together. No. I had to push those thoughts away, I needed to forget them all. But no matter how hard I try, I can never forget you, Matt. You're like a STD, you never go away. Permanet, the damage has been done, an atom bomb has been dropped and it could take years to recover.

'_Jab my eyes if they should compromise our fulcrum  
If what you need divides me then I might as well be gone'_

"I know you're probably feeling the same right now…" I whispered quietly aloud to myself, sobbing now. My voice now beginning to becomealmost thunderously loud, now sobbing. "Why do you make me feel this why?!" I knew you were not going to answer me.

'_Shine on forever  
Shine on, benevolent sun'_

Being the all to proud teenager I am, I marched through those incredibly large, rusted black gates for the last time. I can't let my feelings get in the way of my pride, it was sickening. I promise you Matt, I will see you again before I die. I know I don't always keep my promises, but this time I'll try my hardest, just for you.

'_Shine down upon the broken  
Shine until the two become one'_

**BACK TO THE PRESENT**

'_Shine on forever  
Shine on, benevolent sun'_

I stormed out of 'our' now former bedroom and into the corridors. I couldn't believe I was doing the for you Mello, I would have never done it if it were someone else. Never. Why just for you Mello? I don't actually know why myself. Lets just say… Its best friend love?

'_Shine on upon the severed  
Shine until the two become one'_

Well, here is a fact that I _do _know, for sure. 'If I'm caught, I'm fucking screwed'. That's what. Oh! Bonus thing I know, I _will _find you, wether you like it or not. I don't care. Not even the largest earthquake, or the most deadly, molten volcano can stop me…

'_Divided, I wither away  
Divided, I wither away'_

I quickly stode down the corridors. Though I wasn't paying much attention to where I was exactly going, and suddenly, I crashed into that infuriating girl know as 'Linda'. Irritating little bitch, she always sticks her nose into other's buisness— Shit! I knew what was coming next, and you probably know to…

'_Shine down upon the many  
Light our way, benevolent sun'_

"Hey Matt! You okay?" She questioned me. She peered down at my bag. Damn! "What're you doing with that bag?" What the hell is this?! An interrogation?! I lifted myself off the ground, igonoring her nosy little questions and hurried away from the scene. I couldn't tell her what I was doing, she would surely tell Roger and he would come and stop me, I can't risk that.

'_Breathe in union  
Breathe in union  
Breathe in union  
Breathe in union  
Breathe in union  
So, as one, survive another day and season'_

I think I finally know the _real _reason why I'm doing this for you…

'_Silence leeches; save your poison  
Silence leeches; stay out of my way!'_

I love you. That's why.

**{To Be Continued}**

Yay! Thank you for reading this chapter! (or prolouge, is the prolouge a chapter?) Anyway, for those reading my other two fan fictions, I'm sorry I haven't updated in ages, I was in a slump, but I'm better now! I'm working on the next chaper of 'True Love at First Sight?' The song I used is called 'Jambi' by 'Tool'. This is my first Death Note fan fiction, and my first in the angst-like genre (not exactly sure). So, everyone, please review! No flames though. If you review Matt will give you all hugs!!!


	2. Heart Shaped Glasses

Hello everyone! Sorry that its been about two to three months... My Microsoft Word ran out (I don't really know what happened) so I have to type on WordPad... It's truely not that bad, to tell you the truth. Anyway, enjoy the chapter, and please remember, please review!

**DISCLAIMER:** Death note belongs to Tsugumi Ohba and Takeshi Obata. Songs belongs to Marilyn Manson, Say Anything, and The Medic Droid.

_'Don't break,  
__Don't break my heart,  
__and I won't break you heart-shaped glasses.  
__Little girl,  
l__ittle girl you should close your eyes,  
__that blue is getting me high.  
__Making me low.  
__That blue is getting me high.  
__Making me low.'_

Heart Shaped Glasses (When the Heart Guides the Hand) by Marilyn Manson

**Chapter I- Heart-Shaped Glasses**

**[Three Years Later, Matt's Point of View]**

I gradually made my way towards my flight to Los Angeles, California. All I had with me was an adverage sized rucksack and a small suitcase. The backpack held my video games, money, and cigerettes, the suit case held my clothes. They were so damn heavy, it felt as if they were filled with rocks... Very large ones.

Anyway, it's been about three years since I've seen Mello. Where the hell is he?! I've checked Boston, Detroit, New York, Vegas, and God knows where else! I know I'm going to find him soon... Maybe... Maybe I'm not trying hard enough to find him...

I kept pondering to my self on where to find him in Los Angeles. I glanced up from my feet, just to observe where I was going, and damn! I saw a hot chick in leather with shoulder length golden blonde hair, and she too just so happened to be going to Los Angeles.

This gave me more hope, seeing with today's luck that I may actually find Mello sometime soon. I strolled over towards the girl with shoulder length blonde hair, I noticed that should had a stern, bold figure... Almost like a man's... Hey, I'm bi, I'll go either way! I continued to approach her, er, him... I noticed the she was actually a _he..._ A pretty hot he!

"Hey, you going to Los Angeles?" I asked cooly. I was attempting to make a good impression on him, which I probably failed terribly at.

He turned around to face me, and said, "Yeah, what's it look to you?", he said it in a blunt voice, like as if he were at bit too full of himself. His face looked awfully farmiliar... I stared at him for a minute... He has his personality... Maybe he's--

"May I help you?!" He interupted my thought, I almost had it! No.. wait a minute... Maybe it actually is...

"Do you happen to go by the name 'Mello'?" I replied without a second thought. Fuck, what if it not him?! He seems like the kind of guy who would get pissed of easily, possibly by being mistaken for someone else. He just stared at me with a 'what the fuck?' kind of face. I got nervous.

"Uh-- I'm sorry you just--"

"Yes, I am Mello" He cut in. Holy shit. I knew I was having a lucky day! Does he remember me, though?

"Are you... Matt...?"

"Y-yes... Mello..." I replied nervously, I was too damn happen to think about how I had just sounded. I finally found him! And he remembers me!

"So... You finally found me, and it took you three _fucking _years! What the hell, Matt?! Didn't you ever pay attention to me when I talked to you about my life dreams and where I've always wanted to travel?!" Mello barked at me. His life dreams? Did he mean where he wanted to go when he was older?

"Well how the hell would I know that you were _actually _going to move to LA?!" I shouted back at him without a thought. He always had high expectations of me when it came to him. Just because he was my best friend at Wammy's doesn't mean I'll be able to remember enough small details about him to write a biography!

"Whatever... Our flights about to board... We better hurry up." Mello spoke in a slight whisper. Did I just win the fight? Woah man, what the hell... I don't think that's ever happened before, other than in video games. This was like one huge step for man to actually be able to beat Mello in a verbal fight, physical is practically impossible.

"Does this mean I just one the fight?"

"Fuck off, Matt."

Good old Mello...

**[On the Plane]**

_"Don't break, don't break my heart, and I won't break your heart-shaped glasses." _I sang in a low voice to myself while listening to my black iPod nano. I loved Marilyn Manson, and this was my favorite song by him, and it was also my ringtone.

"Matt."

"Hm, what the matter, Mels?" Mello was sitting in the seat to my right, I had the window seat and there was no one sitting next to Mello.

"Shut up, and don't call me that in public, you jackass." Ouch.

"So does that mean I can still call you that when we're not in public?" I replied smugly. Mello grunted and turned his head in the opposite direction.

"Fuck off."

"_Hey, today, baby I've got your money_!" I sang from the song 'I've Got Your Money' by Say Anything, just to annoy Mello. He made a low growl. Heh... Always works...

**[Right After the Plane Lands]**

"Hey, Mello, I've got a question for you." I stated boredly to Mello as we were going to pick up our luggage, if you could even call it that.

"What is it, it better not be something stupid, though." Mello replied, not bothering to look towards me.

"I want to fuck you in the backseat, f-f-fu-fuck in the backseat, f-f-fu-fuck you in the backseat!" I blurted out.

"What the fuck, Matt! We're in public!" shouted Mello, making even more of a scene than I had just done.

"Heh, nevermind. Thats not what I was intentionally going to say..." I replied nervously.

"Then... WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU GOING TO SAY?!" Mello screamed in my face. Damn, he was pissed, how many times was that today?

"Calm down, man! It was a joke! I was going to ask you why you had always wanted to go to Los Angeles..."

Calming down, Mello replied, "I don't really know why... I guess it's because of the climate and the city. It's a lot different from Winchester, don't you agree?" Mello was getting serious, not that he wasn't being serious before, but I mean _really _serious. Serious to the point of mentioning Winchester in public.

"Yeah, I kind of agree. It is a lot different. A bit to hot for my liking, but still very different from Wammy's." I was trying to be serious, myself. I'm a bit to laid back for that. Speaking of laid... I wonder when the last time was... Why the fuck?! I'm not suppose to be thinking about those kinds of things right now!

Mello and I then gathered our possesions uneventfully and strolled out of LAX. Suddenly I wondered where we were going.

"Mello, where are we going?" I finally asked him.

"You'll see..."

I had a feeling in my gut. A bad one, at that...

**[Chapter I- End]**

Thank you guys for reading this chapter on through. Please tell me what you think. No flames, please. By the way, the song Matt sand in LAX was 'Fer Sure' by 'The Medic Droid'. See you in chapter two!


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